Are there acceptable justifications for cheating on one's spouse?
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Cheating is one terrible, feared, dreaded, and avoided phenomenon in marriages and relationships.
Everyone hopes to not be that partner who
does it, and those who somehow fall into the ‘mistake’ are expected to
feel ashamed, sober and remorseful when caught, no matter what their
reasons for doing so are.
The women listed below [not their real identities]
have been unfaithful in their marriages and they feel no remorse
whatsoever for their actions, here are their reasons, gathered from “Cheating without Regrets” on Women’s Health.
1. I was pressured into marriage at an early age
Busola says “I got married at 24
to a person I didn’t love but settled for because everyone was putting
pressure on me to tie the knot. My family told me that I should focus on
marriage instead of a career. Our marriage was dead on arrival, and we
just clung to each other because we didn’t know what else to do. Three
years in, I met someone else at work, and we had an affair.”
2. I don’t love the person I cheated with
Chika says “I don’t regret
cheating because I didn’t love the person I cheated with. I slept with a
guy I met out one night at a club where I was celebrating a
girlfriend’s birthday.
In my eyes, it wasn’t a big deal because there
wasn’t an emotional connection. It was just sex. I’ve been married for
four years, and I truly love my husband. I don’t plan on telling him
because I don’t want to ruin our marriage over a person I don’t care
about at all.”
3. He cheated first
Bolanle says “What comes around
goes around. I found out my husband was cheating with a neighbor, so I
cheated back. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. When my husband
walked in on us, he was shocked. I saw him cry, but it felt good to get
him back for the pain he caused me. Obviously, we ended up getting
a divorce, and I was fine with that.”
4. He didn’t touch me for two years
Monica says “I don’t regret
cheating because I feel like I had to do it for us to get to the place
we are at now. My husband and I hadn’t slept together in two years. I
needed sex. So I slept with a stranger. Cheating actually helped me
realize that I needed to do something about our sex issues. I never told
my husband about the affair, but I decided it was time to go to couples
therapy and sort out our lack of sex. After going to therapy, we
started trying new things in bed and making it a priority to have alone
time together. Our relationship has never been stronger. ”
5. I was just bored
Mariam says “I was tired of
being a stay-at-home mom who wasn’t treated well by her husband. My
husband never called me beautiful and practically ignored me. I ended up
secretly dating a guy that lived in the neighborhood and was recently
divorced. It was my adventure, and it made me feel good about myself.
The side guy knew about my husband and didn’t care. He wanted a
girlfriend without all the attachment that came with it, so it was a
mutual agreement. When my husband walked in on us one afternoon, he
screamed that he wanted a divorce and I was okay with that.”
What do you think about these, are there even
accepted justifications for cheating on one’s spouse? Please vote in the
opinion poll below.
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